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Carmen Ferrara [userpic]

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December 18th, 2006 (09:19 am)
melancholy

where I've wandered: my own personal hell
emotion of the moment: melancholy
songs of my heart: my tears

How could I have been so stupid?! Of course they didn't put me on the squad! They probably made fun of me the whole time because I'm ugly and disgusting...and fat. God how can I ever show my face in school again? I was walking around like an idiot telling everyone I was a Glamazon. What was I thinking? You know what? I wasn't thinking. I was...just as naive as I'm sure everyone was thinking. Well I cannot show my face there again. I just need to get away...

Carmen Ferrara [userpic]

Glamazon auditions!!!

December 14th, 2006 (09:03 am)
ecstatic

where I've wandered: Cloud Nine
emotion of the moment: ecstatic
songs of my heart: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Cyndi Lauper

Okay, so I just got back from a mini shopping spree with Lily. It looks like I'll be able to cross something off of my list as of tomorrow! If you haven't guessed it yet, the Glamazon auditions went well. Actually that's an understatement. It was awesome. I learned all of the routines and while I was dancing, Brooke McQueen smiled at me. Me! Lowly, unpopular Carmen Ferrara. I took this as a good sign of course. I know Brooke will put me on the team. She's super nice, not at all stuck up like Sam says she is.

Speaking of Sam, she was named editor of the Zapruder. Isn't that fantastic? She so deserves it, and I'm really proud of her! Lily and Cat suggested we have a little celebration on Friday in honor of Sam's new position and my becoming a Glamazon. I wonder if I should invite the other girls on the squad. That would be pretty sweet, but I'm not sure how Sam would feel. I mean it's her celebration too...on second thought, maybe I shouldn't invite them. But what if they expect me to invite them? Then if I don't, they'll think I'm a snob and kick me off the squad. You know what I think I'll just talk to Brooke. I'm sure she'll understand. I'll just make sure I don't mention the fact that Sam hates her guts. Though, judging from the daggers they were shooting at each other in class and in the cafeteria, I'm pretty sure she knows...

Anyway, I told my mom and she's really happy for me. She actually told me she was proud of me! Now she's making a special dinner for me, so I have to get going. I just wanted to update this and say that sending positive energy into the universe really does work! One down...nine more to go.

Carmen Ferrara [userpic]

Home again....finally

November 24th, 2006 (02:43 pm)
hopeful

where I've wandered: Home (finally)
emotion of the moment: hopeful
songs of my heart: God Must Have Spent A Little More Time on You - N'sync

So I'm finally home from "the camp" and I have to admit that it wasn't sooo bad. I mean I did lose forty pounds, and I got to meet a lot of cool people, but I've missed my friends all summer. I've especially been worried about Sam. Things weren't so great with her before I left. I wonder if Cat's back home yet. I guess when I'm done this I'll call her and find out. Well it's been a while since I've written on here, so there's obviously a lot to catch up on.

I made some pretty cool friends this summer, and I took a couple of dance classes there. I really wanted to get some practice in for first semester tryouts for the Glamazons. I've decided to try out. The dance teacher at camp told me that I was a really good dancer, and she didn't see why I wouldn't make it. I just hope she's right. Yes, I realize that Nicole Julian is co-captain this year, but so is Brooke McQueen. And yes I know that Brooke's never given me more than a passing smile in the hall, I'm sure that she will recognize my talent and put me on the squad anyway.

I should probably finish this up. After I call Sam, my mom's going to take me shopping for school clothes...yay...Don't get me wrong. I love my mom, and I know she means well, but I don't think I can take another day of her telling me that if I just lost a couple of pounds...you know what? I'm not going to think about it. If I put positive energy out into the universe I'm sure it will return to me.

Oh, I want to post my list of goals for first semester. Hopefully by Christmas I will be able to cross out all of them.

1. Make it on the Glamazons
2. Find a boyfriend that loves me for me
3. Figure out how to become friends with Brooke McQueen
4. Make the honor roll
5. Lose twenty more pounds
6. Get a job so I can afford better clothes
7. Figure out a way to get the Glamazons to come to my birthday party
8. Figure out a way to get Sam and Lily not to kill me for inviting them
9. Become Popular
10. Have a great semester

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